Are Abstract Expressionism and Conceptual Art an elaborate joke? Could a kid paint a masterpiece? As part of Amir Bar-Lev's investigations into Modern Art's cultural credibility, he interviews four-year-old Marla Olmstead, whose abstract paintings are thought to merit a place in the Met. If she's a genius, what are the bigger implications -- for art history, the art market and art criticism? If is the key word. In the midst of Bar-Lev's entirely genuine exploration of Marla's talents, US TV show 60 Minutes insinuates Marla is a fraud and points the finger at her father. The documentary then shifts gears to discover the truth of these allegations. It's a shame because you never quite get to the bottom of the cultural implications of this child's conceptual expressions, nor what the validity is of modern art. Do we give a monkey's whether the Dad's the real Picasso? Not really. Still, there's some real food for thought here.

NB: My Kid Could Paint That is released in London on 14/12.

A favourite of both Scorsese, Coppola and the Grateful Dead's Jerry Garcia, 1964 Polish epic film The Saragossa Manuscript is based on the novel by adventurer Count Jan Potocki. Described as a kind of Arabian Nights set in 18th-century Spain and directed by Wojciech Has, it's a rollicking tale involving aristocrats, officers, rogues and scheming women. Below the surface, this classic piece shot in luminous black and white and Cinemascope blends reality and the supernatural to create a dream-like puzzle. At this screening, the original effervescent score by composer Krystof Penderecki, is supplemented by live music performed by The Recording Angel Ensemble, an intriguing international group led by Aleksander Kolkowski. The film's brain-teasers and surreal adventures will be complemented by sounds from Germany (Stephan Mathieu on laptop evocations and Ute Wasserman, voice), Poland (Sebastien Buczek's beeswax recording automata), France (Francine Luce, voice and Pascal Marzan, Spanish guitar), and a host of others, including Kolkowski's own conduction, employing wax cylinders and antique phonographs.

NB: The Saragossa Manuscript screens at the BFI Soutbank from 15/12 till 03/01/08.

There is an art to "selling" cinema -- not in the monetary sense, but making it believable, inviting the viewer into the temporary world of the story unfolding on the screen. The more implausible the story, the more work goes into making it real -- the implausible then becomes the fantastic. Costume designer Colleen Atwood has contributed to the transformation of some of the most visually delicious fantasies of recent years, ranging from the imperious and decadent Memoirs Of A Geisha to a series of darkly comic yet equally lavish Tim Burton films (including the vaguely dubious forthcoming musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street) -- possibly among her greatest achievements, and certainly indicative of her unique style and approach to character development through costume. This is a rare opportunity to gain insight into her metier in conjunction with a string of Tim Burton screenings that will be featured throughout the month.

Sud Electronic's final party of 2007 presents the continuation of a festive tradition, with Hamburg's Dial Records returning for the third year running to celebrate the season. Neither Efdemin (aka Phillip Sollmann) or label boss Lawrence (aka Peter M Kersten) are strangers to the Sud crowd, last appearing together back in June to rapturous reception, but Efdemin's profile has blossomed since this UK debut, making him quite the hot ticket. The twin DJ sets from the guests are sure to be peppered with the kind of deep, crystalline house and techno that the Dial label is known for. With additional musical support from the Sud residents, specially commissioned visuals from the Golden Girls and a unique-sounding secret venue in Dalston, the party should be one of the hits of the pre-Xmas period.

As well as sharing a similar European-Latin heritage, Luciano's sounds also bear more than a passing resemblance to Ricardo Villalobos's music, which tends to be on the complex but groovy side of minimal techno. The Germanised South American set -- renowned for sounding surgically precise (check out "Rumba Triste") -- is epitomised by the duo comprising Martin Schopf (aka Dandy Jack) and classically trained composer Andres Garcia, known collectively as John Keys. Their live set promises to combine painstaking construction with a warmth that is often lacking among supposedly elite or technically adventurous niches. Similarly Sweden's latest crop of DJs have made the unusual claim of all being very good friends -- which might explain the bouncy, almost joyful tracks being put together by Aril Brikha. It has the flavour of a slightly off-piste but potentially very rewarding evening.

Last time we went to The Haunted House, underneath Le Gun's Curiosity Shop in Hackney, we took tea with The Evil Twins. Before we met the petulant, mischievous, silent siblings, we crept into the basement and read about their creation. Their tale, told in verse, was this: a beautiful writer had begun to write a story about them, but they had run off the page -- to wreak havoc. The last line of the poem commanded us to drop to our knees. So we did. And crawled under the desk through felt-lined tunnels which led to new areas where more of the twins' antics were relayed. Our favourite was the tower, which had illustrations of the twins' underwater adventures. We had to wear distorting goggles to see them. Eventually the tunnels opened up into a tiny Victorian sitting room where we drank sherry and tea and ate cakes. The twins now have more naughty stories to tell. Set to music. We are so going again!

NB: the performance starts at 2pm, lasts approximately 20 minutes and repeats till 6pm (both on 15/12 and 16/12).

People like to wind down in a whole lot of different ways. If you're not feeling the forced merriment of the season, and want an instant system detox of a very different variety, then check out the third edition of London's strangest night out, Scrapclub. Here, at the final resting place for white goods, you can vent your rage against those offensive inanimate objects in your life by taking up a health and safety approved sledgehammer and obliterating them to smithereens. In your ten-minute slot be sure to take a moment and reflect on the serious side of this endeavor, which comments on gluttonous consumerism and waste. Get armed, let loose and go mad!

Claude Chabrol's latest film is based on the Elf Scandal in France -- a fraud inquiry into oil giant Elf allowing its executives to spend millions on political favours, mistresses, jewellery, fine art and luxury apartments. Ever the mischief, Chabrol opens his film with the wry disclaimer: "Any resemblance to persons living or dead is, as they say, coincidental..." The film marks the seventh time Chabrol has worked with lead actress Isabelle Huppert, who plays high-profile Judge Jeanne Charmant-Killman, investigating corruption and embezzlement among the high and mighty in a prominent state-supported company. However, as Charmant-Killman gains power over the once-powerful her life starts to unravel. Chabrol revisits the playfulness of his New Wave roots and delivers an assured critique of the intoxicating nature of power.

NB: A Comedy Of Power is released in London on 14/12.

Happiness and perfect harmony is what advertising forces us to aspire to. Even the IKEA catalogue shows us how much pleasure can be derived from everyday chores. Pushing this to the extreme The Good Family portrays the happy life of a perfect Swedish family -- affluent, educated, artistic and ever so tolerant. This is drama of the mind where nothing dramatic happens. All we are left with is a sickly sweet aftertaste as we wonder whether too much happiness could make us utterly unbearable, and drive us crazy. Set in Ukraine the second offering is a frank but funny account of lower class misery in the aftermath of Chernobyl. Staged like a classical painting of the nativity, here nothing is perfect and happiness is something to be dreamed of or induced through a bottle of vodka. Two plays in 75 minutes and a chance to enjoy a drink during the interval, isn't that happiness?

NB: runs till 21/12. Other theatre of note is Statement Of Regret (at the NT till 10/01/08), Mime Festival 2008 (at various venues across London from 12/01/08 till 27/01/08), The Masque Of The Red Death (at BAC till 12/04/08) and Jos Houben's illustrated lecture on laughter (at the Southbank on 12/01/08).

Always one step ahead of Mr Jones, Bob Dylan remains an elusive shape-shifter, impossible to tie down or categorise. Of the documentary films made, no one has managed to capture his essence as brilliantly as DA Pennebaker. Now Todd Haynes attempts the first dramatised account with his fantastic I'm Not There. Haynes' enthralling, hypnotic and bizarre biopic provides a fascinating portrayal by avoiding any attempts to pigeonhole "the voice of a generation". Instead of a conventional portrait, Haynes' multi-stranded narrative sees six different actors exploring various aspects of Dylan. The performances are superb, with an ethereal Cate Blanchett beautifully capturing the intimidating/intimidated Dylan of '60s London and Marcus Carl Franklin exploring his youthful, naive aping of the blues. A playful and exhaustive feature, you'll leave the cinema wanting to see Pennebaker and Peckinpah, ready to dig out your Dylan records and itching to watch the film all over again.

NB: I'm Not There is released in London on 21/12.

It's Christmas time again and if you can make it through the endless rounds of office parties and the shame and sexual harassment lawsuits they often engender there's an early present in store for you in the shape of the Warp Records Christmas Party. Held this year in the rather grand surroundings of the Great Eastern Hotel, Warp and co-promoters Dedbeat are offering up a tasty banquet of musical morsels to feast upon. Taking the role of turkey this year is the eminence grise of East London, Andrew Weatherall, though as ever it's the trimmings that really get our mouth watering and this year is no exception with the likes of Martin Rushent, founder member of The Human League, drone rockers, The Oscillation, Toddla T, the current toast of Sheffield and dubstep pioneer Shackleton all on hand to join the dots between early electro experimentation and today's freshest beats. It's sure to be a cracker!

Breathe. Khaled Hosseini's 2003 literary hit is translated onto the silver screen with touching sensitivity, emotional power and considered expression. It tells the story of Amir, a successful writer living in New York, who returns to his native Kabul after he discovers his childhood friend Hassan has been killed by the Taliban, and Hassan's son Sohrab abducted. It emerges, however, that it is Amir's guilt at having betrayed Hassan when they were children that drives him to act honourably towards Sohrab, some 20 years later. Amir's is most definitely a heroism tainted with darkness and pain. Played out during a time of political turbulence that heightens the film's poignancy and impact, this is a disturbing and moving piece, but one that retains an onscreen lyricism despite the atrocities that take place.

NB: The Kite Runner is released in London on 26/12.

Godfather of all things electro-indie, Erol Alkan returns for another night at the helm of Trash's successor, Durrr, armed with DJing glamour punks, a funk revivalist and a Baltimore absurdist with a fluorescent skull. It's not that the ravey chaos of Dan Deacon's freeform compositions have finally coloured his brain but that as part of his uber-intimate crowd-level performances, Deacon erects a flashing skull on a stick. If that sounds a little stray, you obviously haven't heard his music: having hugely impressed on an exhausting tour this year, Deacon is a natural guest at Alkan's table of amusements. Contrasting with his geeky charm is the lithe, slick electrofunk currently being touted by Londoners Primary 1, who recapture elements of Green Velvet and the all-too-shortlived Plantlife. Although The Long Blondes are only playing a DJ set, their own productions suggests they will be a happy buffer to the live shows.

Ahh New Year's Eve, that one night of the year you are forced into believing will be off the hook again and again. The truth is rarely so, but if you are of less cynical stock, we recommend the below events:

Carl Craig + Boys Noize + Andrew Weatherall... @ Canvas (9pm - 7am)
Spend the last ever night at Canvas in the company of three of London's most exciting clubnights. The "final countdown" sees Bugged Out, secretsundaze and Trailer Trash joining forces and pitching some heavy-hitting headline DJs against their accomplished roster of residents: Bugged Out has Andy Weatherall and Boys Noize up against JoJo de Freq and Nadia Ksaiba; Secretsundaze have roped in Detroit legend Carl Craig, whilst the Trailer Trashers have got Soulwax tour DJ Riton joining Hannah Holland and friends. There are worse ways to see in 2008.

LadyLuck Club New Year's Eve Ball @ Soho Revue Bar (9pm - dawn)
Our capital's finest night out, LadyLuck resembles like a nightclub scene from some '50s B movie starring Bettie Page and Jack Palance but it is at their New Year's Eve ball that London's best dressed crowd -- decked out in all their sleazy '50s, pimp n' starlet splendour -- really pull out the stops. This year live entertainment is provided by King Salami And The Cumberland Sausages supported by burlesque strip teasers Miss Polly Rae, Plucking Miss Vanilla, Fifi La Bomb and Lilly Moonlight while a huge host of DJs, including promoters Rockin' Ronnie King and Jake Vegas and Nino De Gruttola, pump out bebop, rumba, luscious lounge and Vegas grind.

The Last Tuesday Society New Year's Eve Ball @ The Arts Theatre (10pm - 5am)
Blessed masks! They are the saving grace of those who'd like to disguise the more unfortunate dermatological expression of festive excesses, and the preternatural sanctuary of the ugly. If either seasonal decadence has got the better of you but you can't quite locate the stop lever, or you are no oil painting, scamper as fast as your feet will carry you to The Last Tuesday Society's NYE masked ball. Music for every taste (good taste, that is), crazy side shows (we love the sound of the You Me Bum Bum Train and their funny vegetables), a cooked breakfast from 3am (so civilised, it's a marvel) and... drum roll please... prizes, for Extraordinary Costume, Gentlemanly conduct, Decadent Spirit, Most Lovely and Curious Contribution to Dancing and more. Wow. That's all we can say.

The Masque Of The Red Death @ BAC (7:45pm - 6am)

Audion (live)/Matthew Dear + Ivan Smagghe... @ Fabric (9pm - 9am)

Death To All Culture Snitches: Bones + Olanski... @ Neighbourhood (10pm - 5am)

NB: check back with us as we will be adding to this list closer to the date.

El Violin asks us: what is stronger and more effective when fighting for a cause -- violent brute force or passionate belief and cunning? During the Mexican Dirty War of the '70s, the army tried to crush the campesino guerrilla movement by the former method; the rebels responded with the latter. When the remote village of the elderly one-handed musician Plutarco is seized by the military, he engages his frail body and aged violin as an unexpected weapon against the jeeps and guns of the music-loving army captain. Making his acting debut aged 81, Don Angel Tavira (Plutarco) deservedly won the 2006 Cannes Un Certain Regard Actor Award for his gripping cat-and-mouse portrayal of an unlikely revolutionary. Shot in high-contrast black and white, the mountainous landscape looks like an Ansel Adams photo come alive, and the monochrome lends a neo-realist feel to the subject. Beautiful, stirring and sad.

NB: El Violin is released in London 04/01/08.

The films of Wim Wenders are difficult to classify. They range from the universally accessible, to the abstract and disquieting. They are at once deeply personal and culturally descriptive, somehow dwelling both in the emotions and lives of the individuals onscreen and in the cultures that produce and experience them. His work is renowned for bearing the indelible signatures of both European filmmaking and Americana, his depictions of both cultures impeccably accurate and startlingly beautiful. Each of his films, though vastly different, share a unique combination of lustre and subtlety and a particular affinity for the narrative relationship between music and image. In addition to the upcoming Wenders retrospective at the BFI throughout January, he will be in conversation to start off the season, discussing his films and career to date.

NB: this event will sell out fast, so get your tickets now!

Another breaker of the "Romanian New Wave" to crash onto our cinematic shores, 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days follows earlier award winners The Death Of Mr Lazarescu and 12:08 East Of Bucharest. As the recipient of the 2007 Cannes Palme d'Or and Romania's entry to the 2008 Oscars, this latest film raises the bar even higher. Following university student Otilia (Anamaria Marinca) over a 24-hour period as she helps her friend Gabita through an illegal abortion in late Ceausescu-era Romania, it illustrates the continual barters and tradeoffs that were a part of life under the dictatorship, and the lengths to which friendship can extend. Brilliantly acted by Marinca (Bafta winner for C4's 2005 Sex Traffic), the story is gripping -- sometimes claustrophobic, sometimes almost infuriating -- as Otilia struggles to fulfil multiple expectations. Highly recommended.

NB: 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days is released in London on 11/01/08.

If for 2008 you have decided to do something new and a little adventurous, something that you don't see on TV, something fun and inspiring, then the Mime Festival is for you. The festival brings to London a host of international artists who work in a world between theatre/dance and reality, a sort of parallel universe where the human body is no longer the main dynamic for action. Large scale puppets take over the ICA with the lush visual language of Teatro Corsario in Audillos (Howls) (13/01 - 17/01). Silent Tide (24/01 - 27/01) also at the ICA, fuses classical and industrial sounds using specially constructed instruments. At the Barbican, acclaimed French choreographer Josef Nadj and visual artist Miquel Barcelo have covered the walls and stage with 10 tons of wet red clay and to the live sounds of Alain Mahe two performers will embark on a new journey (16/01 - 19/01). From Japan comes multidisciplinary artist Hiroaki Umeda with a triple bill of works (15/01 - 17/01) exploring the disorientation of life in the big city through a minimalist fusion of street dance and butoh. A promising start to the year, with plenty more in many venues across London!

NB: Mime Festival runs from 12/01/08 till 27/01/08. Other theatre of note is The Family Plays: A Double Bill (at the Royal Court till 21/12/08), Statement Of Regret (at the NT till 10/01/08), Jos Houben's illustrated lecture on laughter (at the Southbank on 12/01/08), and The Masque Of The Red Death (at BAC till 12/04/08).

Jos Houben, a Belgian-born member of the ever-famous Complicite, can be best described as one of the most respected contemporary physical comedians. For over 20 years he has worked as an actor, director and writer with leading physical theatre companies worldwide. The Art Of Laughter, one of Houben's most recent projects, provides a unique opportunity to look at his work from a completely different angle. As Houben says himself: "this is not a show, this is a lecture, a demonstration", that gives us in-depth understanding of the anatomy of laughter and the performer himself. A one-off chance to "study" laughter with a leading expert on the subject.

NB: The Art Of Laughter kicks off this year's Mime Festival (runs till 27/01/08) and was a Total Theatre Award winner at the 2007 Edinburgh Festival. Other theatre of note is The Family Plays: A Double Bill (at the Royal Court till 21/12/08), Statement Of Regret (at the NT till 10/01/08) and The Masque Of The Red Death (at BAC till 12/04/08).

In her Nobel acceptance speech last week Doris Lessing lamented the technological revolution of the Internet which has lead to a "fragmenting culture" and "seduced a whole generation into its inanities". The Persian-born author may have been brought up in a mud hut in Rhodesia, but it was a mud hut full of books. "Writing, writers", she said, "do not come out of houses without books". The oldest person ever to receive the literary accolade, her work has spanned numerous 20th century issues -- race (confronted in her early novels set in Africa) gender (she was, though not necessarily willingly, adopted by the feminist movement) and family and the individual (explored in her science fiction). In her first event since winning the prestigious award she will discuss her extraordinary life and work -- definitely one to kickstart the New Year.

Explosions In The Sky round off their UK tour with a stop in London's Astoria on January 30th, and it's a long-awaited date for fans of the Texan band, since they were forced to reschedule their original dates from this summer. The band's reputation as one of the most impressive live acts around should add to the fervour, with the additional buzz generated from their curatorial role at next summer's ATP festival. It's a role not casually recruited for -- an indication the four-piece's talents. Explosions' appeal straddles generations and trend brackets, mostly attracting those who value first-rate musicianship and sprawling, beautifully emotive instrumental rock music. For evidence, check their All Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone album released earlier this year. Portland, Oregon's Eluvium supports, and should set the tone nicely.

Les 7 doigts de la main are seven former members of Cirque du Soleil, who retain that company's physical prowess whilst dropping the sugariness. They are a troupe of extraordinary performers who skip through trapeze, acrobatics, contortions but with an uncanny wit, thoughtful vulnerability and live responsiveness that mark them out from the throng of new circus companies. Their last show in this country, Traces, ran to immense acclaim through the Edinburgh Festival, with glowing review after review. LOFT -- in collaboration with live turntables from 8th finger DJ Pocket -- has the seven as friends turning their domestic lives (literally) upside-down, fashioning daredevil trickery from the debris of everyday life, described as "Friends with bendy people". It's a festive treat from the Roundhouse, which is proving itself as a strong supporter of this Nouvelle Vague de Cirque. Don't miss.

NB: runs till 30/12.

A seminal moment in the history of fashion was the launch of Christian Dior's "New Look" in 1947, the year that marks the beginning of this exhibition. The Golden Age Of Couture celebrates haute couture design in London and Paris after WWII, when women were rediscovering their femininity with a revolutionary new silhouette. Featuring more than 100 exquisite dresses, audio recordings, textiles and photographs by Richard Avedon and Cecil Beaton, the exhibition traces the development of bespoke fashion in the post-war decade through to 1957, the year of Dior's death. The galaxy of contemporary fashion icons who walked the red carpet at the opening during London Fashion Week included designer Vivienne Westwood, supermodel Claudia Schiffer, and photographer Mario Testino, proof of the enduring power of Dior's legacy, and his continued influence over the silhouette of modern couture.

NB: runs till 06/01/08.

Lee Miller was the first person to appear in an ad for menstruation products, produced important examples of Surrealist nude photography and was instrumental in the birth of photojournalism as an embedded war reporter for American Vogue. So why is she still best known as model and muse to the likes of Man Ray and Picasso? There are many theories, but the fact that she pulled all images from circulation in the mid-'50s can't have helped. However, this compact survey of her work does redress the balance of biography over creativity with inclusion of some significant art images, such as Portrait of Space (1937), which allegedly inspired Magritte's painting Le baiser (1938) and some extraordinary examples from Miller's WWII journalistic series. Among several shocking images here, a 1930 shot of a severed human breast will leave a chill in the heart to rival that of anything produced by her contemporaries.

NB: runs till 06/01/08. Other shows of note are The Painting Of Modern Life (at The Hayward till 30/12), Seduced: Art And Sex From Antiquity To Now (at the Barbican till 12/01/08), Thomas Zipp (at the South London Gallery till 13/01/08), An American's Passion For British Art: Paul Mellon's Legacy (at the Royal Academy till 27/01/08) and Anthony McCall (at the Serpentine Gallery till 03/02/08).

A provocative look at the intricacies of contemporary British black experience, showing how racism, sexism, homophobia, mental illness, "tribal mentality" and class stereotype operate as much within the "collective" black community as they do outside. A black think-tank is trying to revamp their ideas to fit in with the contemporary climate, but finds itself splitting into factions, as the traditionalists want to continue playing the victim card, whilst the forward-thinkers believe honest self-critique is the only way to get respect for their cause. The script is punchy and direct, and the characterisation is strong, complicating black stereotypes and engaging us in the personal struggles of the eight different individuals. The dialectic between the personal and public consciousness within a marginalised community intensifies as the central character, the head of the think-tank, struggles to overcome the death of his father, who, having suffered at the hands of British colonialists indoctrinated his son with his desire for retribution, gradually breaks down.

NB: runs till 10/01/08. Other theatre of note is The Family Plays: A Double Bill (at the Royal Court till 21/12), Mime Festival 2008 (at various venues across London from 12/01/08 till 27/01/08), The Masque Of The Red Death (at BAC till 12/04/08) and Jos Houben's illustrated lecture on laughter (at the Southbank on 12/01/08).

Watercolour is most often associated with pastel landscapes found in pensioners' lounges but German artist Paloma Varga Weisz is changing that antiquated perception with her evocative painted and drawn characters. Smoker, Beggar and Broken Man are closer to Tim Burton's Stain Boy and Stare Girl than they are to any ordinary portrait. They stare at the viewer as if your imagination alone might have extracted them from a story mid-gesture. There are also a few sculptures in the show hinting at the artist's former training as a wood carver. The organic material is delicately carved and covered in burnished metals to become the faces, bodies and hands of more disenfranchised characters.

NB: runs till 12/01/08. Other shows of note are The Painting Of Modern Life (at The Hayward till 30/12), Seduced: Art And Sex From Antiquity To Now (at the Barbican till 12/01/08), Thomas Zipp (at the South London Gallery till 13/01/08), An American's Passion For British Art: Paul Mellon's Legacy (at the Royal Academy till 27/01/08) and Anthony McCall (at the Serpentine Gallery till 03/02/08).