Wednesday 27 November (6pm)

@ Apollo Theatre, 29 Shaftesbury Avenue, W1V (020.7494.5399) Tube: Piccadilly Circus

What is art for? Jeanette Winterson will tell you... after all, she's the original enfant terrible of late 20th Century English lit. It's her, yet unsurpassable ability to combine -- on the aesthetic level -- unimaginable levels of lyricism and mind-blowing language games with an in-your-face approach content, that endows her writing with a unique combination of vigour and myth. She knows how to translate everyday life in epic terms without losing sight of the directness and absurdity of the small moments. Her gift is versatility -- epic yet never boostraplevitated writing; direct yet never empty; lyric yet never pretentious. (Though declaring herself the best contemporary writer in the English language was a little ridiculous.) One moment, she offers you a slap in the face laced with silk and, in the next you realise that her velvet words are filled with thorns. She's NEVER at rest.

Wednesday 27 November (6 - 9pm)

@ Inside Space, 14-18 Great Titchfield St., W1 (020.7299.6680) Tube: Oxford Circus

What do Martin Bedford, Steve Cavalier, Mark Ferrari and Tina Morgan all have in common? 'S'easy -- they're all artists who have a car for their surname! So, also do Min Cooper, Graham Ford and Takashi Suzuki, oh yes. But more than just a fun game to play on long journeys, the idea is now also an exhibition with a serious message. Organised by the socially and ecologically aware bike and skate-wear brand howies, 22 car-denominated artists have each agreed to cut up a bicycle to help highlight the dangers of bike-riding in the city: every year around 150 people die riding their bikes. The artists' bikes have been turned into everything from a pair of spectacles, to a butcher's hook to make the point -- and each piece is titled with witticism such as "Cut up by Ford" in order to hammer it home. Live to ride another day.

NB: Show runs until Sat 30/11 (gallery is open from 10am - 5pm) -- Private view on Wed 25/11 from 6 - 9pm.

Wednesday 27 November (7:30pm)

@ The Arts Cafe, 28 Commercial St., E1 (020.7247.5681) Tube: Aldgate East

ET couldn't think this one up even if he'd been fasting, had an enema, and then taken some peyote: Takagi Masakatsu, Ogurusu Norihide both Japanese, and Signer. "Ambient" is the genre -- but that just seems a put-down like muzak for the soulful -- really Masakatsu who's more like Pasolini in his samples of daily life -- interspersed with his children and himself on the piano -- blended on his laptop to make -- quite literally -- sounds! Ogurusu is even more minimal, perhaps best to just say: "throb" or "pulse-hum". Tarkovsky to Masakatsu's Pasolini, and as for New Zealander Signer (aka Bevan Smith), who creates a more organic "soundspace", well, best to drop in and decide for yourself... Carpark Records of NYC is taking these three on tour. Neither Sugababes nor Led Zep, this is not... but we're sure you'll find space in yer heart to love em!

Wednesday 27 November (9pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly

As part of the ICA's import of Mexican culture to London (running from Mon 25/11 to Thu 28/11), the record label and media company Noiselab provide the "way forward for electronic music that travels from the night club to the gallery". Representing the forefront of a thriving club scene in Mexico City, media company and record label offers an extensive array of club acts that spin slick, laid back and funky mixes to the masses. Highlights of the event are the full-on retro electropop of Los Fancy-free and the solid dance-floor protuberance of DJs Koggi and Ramiro. Expect anything from mouthwatering Mexican cheddar (i.e. cheesey, hot but tasty) to one too many tequilas...

Thursday 28 November (6:30pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly

A journey of cinematic poetry, Santa Sangre (meaning 'Blood of the Saint'), returns to the big screen for all those who missed this cult movie upon its release almost 20 year ago. Having been compared to Luis Bunuel, following the release of Santa Sangre on several occasions was probably a great honour for underground film-maker Alejandro Jodorowsky since the film is clearly reminiscent of the work of Bunuel. In an eccentric -- but strangely compelling --account, Santa Sangre combines elements of shock, horror, drama, romance and surrealism to entice the viewer to accept the illusions and hallucinations set forth by the narrative. Imagine a Catholic magic-realist movie that's in parallel to the best Marquez novel, then throw in some Cujo-like shock-horror, and you're almost there... We'd have ours straight up, no chaser!

Thursday 28 November (8pm)

@ The Spitz, Old Spitalfields Market, 109 Commercial St., E1 (020.7392.9032) Tube: Aldgate East/Liverpool St.

The Broken Family Band, Cambridge's twisted country pioneers, are the antithesis of the current spunk rock revival, writing tunes of darkly funny depth. Peddle guitars, kazoos, songs about murder and drinking. Superb. Will Oldham, Pixies and Loudon Wainright III all get a nod from the four-piece Cambridge troubadours, who go down in bumpkin pig roasts as well as they do pimping East-End venues. Part of the Further Beyond Nashville festival, tonight also features slow-core country pile drive the Folk Orchestra playing live, KTB and alternative folk hero, Chris T-T DJing.

Giveaway: We have three CDs (one Broken Family Band mini-albun, Folk Orchestra album and a KTB album) to give away to one randomly picked subscriber who can tell us when Chris TT last appeared on Kultureflash.

Friday 29 November

@ Various Venues

L.I.E. received the top billing at the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival earlier this year -- but most missed it because of its immense popularity. Also, due to its difficult subject matter, L.I.E. has taken almost two years to get a general cinema release here in the UK -- now thanks to Metro Tartan it will be released in the UK on Fri 30/11. The film features astonishing performances by the main protagonists (especially Brian Cox), and the realistic -- original -- depiction of suburbia eliminates the low-budget indie feel of the film. This uncompromising portrayal of a young troubled boy who falls easy prey to an older (paedophile) man, is not as straight-forward as it sounds, as this film explores human nature on a level seldom seen in America.

NB: L.I.E. is at both the Other Cinema (11 Rupert St., W1) and the Clapham Picture House (76 Venn St., SW4).

Friday 29 November (2:30pm, 4pm, 6:45pm & 7:45pm)

@ Victoria & Albert Museum, Cromwell Rd., SW7 (020.7942.2000) Tube: South Kensington

The V&A's Fashion In Motion exhibition has become a date on the fashion calendar that few insiders will pass up. If you're not interested in fashion, it's worth it just for the spectacle, and the way that models float at will through rooms and around exhibits which on any other day would surely be against the museum's policy. This double bill offers creations by two of London's most creative forces: Boudicca, the conceptual duo who are as well known for their experimental tailoring as they are for their fashion installations, as well as Katarzyna Szczotarska, who is a relative new-comer, and her modernist often Sixtiesish printed shapes have the architectural appeal of a total look. So don't miss out, come swish with the best of us...

NB: The shows will take place at 2:30pm, 4pm, 6:45pm & 7:45pm.

Friday 29 November (Fri & Sat 8pm - 3am)

@ Aldwych disused tube station, Corner of Surrey St. and The Strand, Tube: Temple

Seed Records celebrate their second birthday with a two-day binge of like-minded artists on the evenings of Friday and Saturday. Haunting the disused Aldwych tube station with their mysterious electrospective beats, the company founders Posthuman present a list of about 40 acts for these evenings' entertainment. From the wealth of notable electronic dance acts on display, one can pick out the blip-hoppers Ardisson and the remote minimalism of Mira Calix. Alison Goldfrapp and Plaid are amongst the artists who will also be performing DJ sets.

NB: For the full line-up an and details see the Seed website -- for tickets call 020. 7734.8932.

Friday 29 November (Fri, Sat & Sun 9pm)

@ 291 Gallery, 291 Hackney Rd., E2 (020.7613.5676) Tube: Liverpool St./Old St./Bethnal Green

Looking at things the wrong way round, inside-out, and in varying degrees of scale, is what Rotozaza do and this piece For Music is another interesting example of the way in which this intriguing collective works. The group has enlisted the help of six contemporary London music makers: Icarus (who are embarking on a tour in December), Fridge (Badly Drawn Boy's backing band), Adem Ilhan, Theboylucas (latest signing on Trevor Jackson's Output Recordings), Murmer (contributors to the lovely Resonance FM) and Isambard Kroustaliov (Sam Britton). These artists have created or selected a piece of music that will form a landscape upon which "something will happen." Sounds mystifying? Well, according to Rotozaza, listening to music is never only listening, but seeing too. The evening takes the shape of "micro events" created around the listening of each artist's music; to channel and intensify sonic landscapes. Expect mess and beauty.

NB: Rotozaza runs for three nights -- Fri 29/11, Sat 30/11 and Sun 1/12 at 9pm.

Saturday 30 November (2pm)

@ The Spitz, Old Spitalfields Market, 109 Commercial St., E1 (020.7392.9032) Tube: Aldgate East/Liverpool St.

Cool cats and retro kids will all be slinking along to the Spitz this saturday for the Track & Field/Fortuna Pop!/Pickled Egg pop all-dayer. DJs, drinking and record stalls aside, there's an eclectic line-up of bands with something for everyone -- from 60s-style electronica, mad japanese noise and stereolab soundalikes, to french film soundtrack, lo-fi shamblings, preening and posing. Expect sets from (amongst others) bearsuit, Big Eyes, Kicker, The Loves, Pop-Off Tuesday, Tender Trap, and and finally to get very drunk and have a good pogo.

Saturday 30 November (9pm)

@ Rhythm Factory, 16-18 Whitechapel Rd., E1 (020.7375.3774) Tube: Whitechapel/Aldgate East

PEG, one of London's best-loved undergound house nights, celebrates it's third birthday this Saturday. And you'd be daft not to join in the fun. Peg started in the basement of a Shoreditch juice bar at the end of '99, dropping sexy, techy underground house music to super-friendly crowds who've been dancing ever since. Propelled purely by a regular e-mailout and word-of-mouth, PEG is healthier than ever: this birthday special, at Whitechapel's Rhythm Factory, sees the crew celebrating in style...it's a legal venue for a change. DJs on duty with a mix of deep and tech house include Alex Dean (Souldoubt), Homegrown Music's Adam B and LE BAss joining promoter/resident Jane Fitz. And as a special birthday treat there's a proper old skool rare groove and funk party out the back with Keep Diggin's Steve Shade, Pacha/Brkdwn resident Soulmate and Save the Rhino regular Sharon. Percussion from James and Tony P, and visuals from Funkcutter, besides the usual bonkers deco (it's a 3-themer this time round). If you thought acid house was dead, then you've never been to PEG.

Sunday 1 December (3pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly

Fed up with the state of the UK music industry? Bored of the banality of Fame Academy, maddened by the nasal whining of the unbiquitous baggy-trousered teens on Rivals, or do you just think Gareth Gates is a weaseley tosser and Will Young is the Tony Blair of pop? If this strikes a cord with you, if you wonder whatever the fuck happened to your rock and roll, then run down to the ICA and join the debate on the health of the music industry. In fact, drive a Rolls Royce through the door while out of your mind on Benzedrine and Brandy. That's what Keith Moon would have done. While you're down there, you can find out how easy it is to set up your own record company, a fact that will not surprise you when you consider the bald, creatively uninspired, fat rumped suits that have done just that over the years in order to rape the creativity of those with more talent and soul than themselves. Errr, sorry we got carried away there. But you get the idea, the ICA is doing something about the shocking state of the music industry by encouraging debate and helping those who care enough do something about it. You'll get advice and opinion from management, record companies and artists, well then maybe you can leave the Benzedrine at home.

NB: Speakers include: Tim Parry, MD Of Big Life Management (The Verve, Badly Drawn Boy); Thomas H Green, deputy editor Muzik Magazine and A&R Scout For Ministry; Julie Weir, MD/ A&R Director Of Visible Noise (Lost Prophets); Chris Salmon assistant music editor at Time Out, Kord Marshall, head of the Mushroom group, and Jake Shillingford, singer, Exile Inside (Ex My Life Story).

Monday 2 December (6.20 pm)

@ National Film Theatre, South Bank, SE1 (020.7928.3232) Tube: Embankment/Waterloo

Modern life is just so treacherous, what with HIV, serial killers, terrorists, muggings, and hey, even bank fraud... but we live with these day-to-day occurrences like they don't even exist. It would be far scarier if our daily lives and fears had a soundtrack! Can you hear the Flight of the Valkyries now without thinking of Robert Duvall saying "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning." Well Douglas Gordon's Feature Film (1999) engages with just this issue. Separating sound from picture, and re-working the former; Artangel who produced this work, describes it as "a portrait and a landscape, a soundtrack and a motion picture." In tempo with the Hayward's Gordon show (mentioned in Issue no. 23 of KultureFlash), Fiona Bradley (Hayward co-curator) and James Lingwood (Co-Director of Artangel) will introduce Feature Film. But hey, if that don't be your thing, at least there's Hitchcock for dessert: Vertigo will be screened after, so prepare to be re-sensitized to the cinematic event.

Ends Saturday 30 November (Tue to Sat 10am - 6pm)

@ White Cube, 48 Hoxton Square, N1 (020.7930.5373) Tube: Old St.

German painter Katharina Grosse is the second of Louise Neri's curatorial selections for the new project space, Inside the White Cube (a year-long programme). With her site-specific spray-painted wall murals, Grosse makes a brave effort to integrate and reshape Mike Rundell's beautiful and perfectly proportioned art-viewing space. Grosse uses a spray gun like de Kooning used a paintbrush, layering fields of colour with exuberant outbursts of line to create a rich and multi-dimensional surface. Much is left to chance: day-glo colours coalesce and drip down walls, around corners, across the ceiling and even seem to seep out of the windows. They are best viewed up close, where the minute paint particles converge in an almost pointillist quality. Sumptuous and whimsical as this work is, Grosse somehow misses on her intention to completely manipulate the neutral space of the gallery. Her designs skim prettily across the surface, rather than creating an interconnected tension within.

Damien Hirst has created the first artwork destined to land on Mars. This is not a joke. Hirst has designed and painted a special calibration chart for the Beagle 2 spacecraft that will launch in May 2003 as part of the European Space Agency (ESA). The chart is one of Hirst's spot paintings (but a special one since it will have to withstand seven months of flight and intense heat) and all of the Beagle 2's cameras and spectrometers will calibrate themselves by refering to the dots. Forget Prof. Gunther von Hagens... this truly is Art meets Science.

NB: The Grosse exhibition ends on Sat 30/11 and the Hirst one is only on for two days Fri 29/11 and Sat 30/11.

Wednesday 4 December (7pm)

@ Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 (020.7226.1686) Tube: Highbury & Islington

Boom Bip and esteemed rapper cum poet cum turntablist, Buck 65 join forces to perform material from Boom Bip's highly acclaimed new album Seed to Sun (on Warp off-shoot Lex Records), it's brought comparisons to Richard D James. Live support comes in the form of Morr Music's lovely Lali Puna, whose beautifully hypnotic instrumentals, playful space-age soundscapes and fragile vocals, will surely entrance in this ethereal venue. Entertainment between the main acts is provided by DJ Rob Hall (Gescom/Skam). Lastly, rare and unseen short experimental films will be shown between the live acts.

Giveaway: We have two copies of Seed to Sun to give away. They'll go to two randomly picked subscribers who can tell us where Boom Bip hails from.

Saturday 7 December (9pm)

@ 93 Feet East, 150 Brick Lane, E1 (020.7247.3293) Tube: Aldgate East/Liverpool Street

Like DJ Shadow, David Holmes has been a continually inventive, and a scarily hip raconteur, equally at home as a solo artist, DJ, soundtracker and style icon. Thus, his next move was never really going to be easy to plot. After his zeitgeist-surfing-loungecore-rolling reached its logical end, with the hugely successful Ocean's Eleven soundtrack, Holmes has decided to put his musical prowess to something more tangible. As a result, we have The Free Association -- an actual band that seems to be, in part, a further extension of the Holmes modus operandi (their first album came out last month) -- these live shows are the first he has played as "just another member of the band." It is also, least we forget, extremely timely considering the (admittedly exaggerated) death of dance music. The Free Association is made up of purring vocalist Petra Jean Phillipson, MC Sean Reveron and Steve Hilton, and promises to encompass all the moods of Holmes' previous outings -- sexy, eloquent and foreboding. Open your ears and prepare for the future (again).

NB: The first Free Association gig on Tue 3/12 at the 100 Club is sold out so get your tickets early for the second London show -- Sat 7/12 at 93 Feet East.

Ends Saturday 4 January (Mon to Sat 8pm; Wed & Sat mat. 3pm )

@ Wyndham's Theatre, Charing Cross Rd., WC2 (020.7369.1736) Tube: Leicester Square

If you're feeling a little glum and in need of an evening of sublime stupidity and wit, then The Play What I Wrote could be the appropriate restorative. Back by popular demand, this stage comedy has more fast paced gags, ridiculous story-lines, lightning footwork, charm and audacity than one can quite believe. This is a show that will make you laugh: fact. The Right Size brings us two double acts: Sean Foley and Hamish McColl as themselves, and as those great British comic institutions, Morecambe and Wise. Less an impersonation of the late comic duo, and more a spirited charge through the predicament of the double act itself, this show leaves its audience exhausted but in thrall to all things ridiculous. There's a special guest every night (when we went it was Jerry Hall), and some alarming impersonations of Daryl Hannah. Venturing into a West End theatre has never been so rewarding. So empty yer bladders and prepare to see double!

Ends Saturday 12 January (Daily 12pm - 7:30pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly

Everyone outside thinks that the art world is the most glamourous and cool place to be. If you think not, then check out the ICA's bar on a weeknight, these folk may be hip and chic but they certainly ain't artworlders. Thing is, the detritus of art are incredibly fun. Who wouldn't want a Sol LeWitt beer mat or Jim Isermann Pop-y flower key chain? The current show at the ICA is less art than by-product of artists. Well, you know all artists are incredibly fecund so why expect the invitation card, or magazine ads, to be any less thought out or in-your-face. There're some classic pieces like Yves Klein's newspaper where he's photographed leaping from his window, or Lynda Bengalis' infamous Artforum ad where she's naked with dildo. More amusing, is the Richard Long invite from the '70s which seems to be photographed in technicolour. What's missing is probably the most famous piece of ephemera -- or at least art masquerading as ephemera -- Piero Manzoni's canned shit, one edition recently acquired by the Tate!