Tuesday 13 May (6:30pm)

@ Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 (020.7887.8008) Tube: Southwark/Blackfriars

For the twelfth annual Peter Fuller Memorial Lecture, curator, museum director, and writer Rudi Fuchs will speak on "The Presence of Painting." Best known for his ground-breaking work at Documenta 7 in '82, where he inaugurated Joseph Beuys' 7000 Oaks, Fuchs is also regarded as one of the most innovative and bravest of museum directors. Until recently, he was the outspoken head at the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam, where he famously re-organised the collection of 20th-century Modernism, choosing a provocative, juxtapositional hang as opposed to more conventional chronological methods. Having written books on David Salle, Polke and Karel Appel, and given his current position as guest lecturer in Arts Practice at The University of Amsterdam, it would be wise to listen to what Rudi Fuchs has to say about painting.

NB: For tickets call 020.7887.8888 or email ticketing@tate.org.uk.

Wednesday 14 May (7:45pm)

@ National Theatre, South Bank, SE1 (020 7452 3400) Tube: Embankment/Waterloo

What do you mean you haven't heard of the Poetry Library? Situated at the top of the South Bank Centre, for fifty years the library has been the world's largest public library devoted exclusively to modern poetry. To celebrate their achievements, popularity, and fiftieth birthday, a never to be repeated roster of world class poets are gathering in a gala event which is sure to be one of this year's London literary highlights. The UK and US laureates, Andrew Motion and Billy Collins, are joined by two of Britain's finest wordsmiths, Carol Ann Duffy and Roger McGough, New York poet Sharon Olds, and the renowned performance poet Patience Agbabi. Imagine your six favourite superheroes on stage. When their superhuman powers involve, erm, words.

Thursday 15 May (Thu 15/05 & Fri 16/05 at 7pm)

@ Shepherds Bush Empire, Shepherds Bush Green, W12 (020.7771.2000) Tube: Shepherds Bush

Back in the early '90s, after you'd spent the night getting sweaty and high to the unleashed angst of Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, you'd wake up the next day with a hell of a headache and put on a Lemonheads CD to help you negotiate the darkest depths of your hangover. While Cobain blew his brains out and was immortalized for it, Evan Dando, who effectively was the Lemonheads, just got drugged-up and dropped out. Now the one-time world's sexiest man (according to People magazine) is on the comeback trail. Dando has just released his first album for seven years, Baby I'm Bored, and it's not half bad --a perfect, lazy-Sunday-morning collection of country-infused, mellow indie-rock. Dando is clearly glad to be back. He recently played 26 songs, rather than the planned six, at an appearance at a London record store, so fans should at least get their money's worth at his two nights at the Shepherds Bush Empire. If Tony Headley deserves a second chance...

Thursday 15 May (7pm)

@ Public Life, 82a Commercial Street (020.7375.2435) Tube: Liverpool Street

Why the hell live in London? Come on... we've all had this discussion... house prices, schools, tube, crime, traffic, the price of a pint, even worse the price of a G&T. Well, don't know about you all, but it's the unbelievable amount of stuff to get involved in, listen to, see and smell! Then, your only problem is filtering it, and if you are a more "discerning" culture consumer the snag is actually finding the events and talent that get you excited. Dosensos is a mobile arts organisation based in the East End who actively help contemporary arts and culture get into the wider public eye. With a spot on London's Resonace FM they allow us to plug into the diversity which make London great. Celebrating their radio show's 1st birthday this Thursday and always open to new ideas, we are all invited to party, and as a treat they've laid on a live performance by Tetine (the Brazilian performance-artist duo comprising of Eliete Mejorado and Bruno Verner), solo electronic guitarist Alfredo Genovesi and Tiago Borges da Silva (aka DJ Fruit).

NB: Resonance is on 104.4fm every day from 12pm till 1am. Dosensos every Wednesday evenings.

Thursday 15 May (7 - 11pm)

@ Scala, 275-277 Pentonville Rd., N1 (020.7833.2022) Tube: Kings Cross

Eat Your Own Ears presents Four Tet, aka Kieran Hebden -- artist/producer/remixer/DJ extraordinaire -- who has hand-picked his line up for tonight's gig. Hebden, who used to be the front man of London post-rock outfit Fridge, will be performing material from his latest and widely acclaimed full-length release Rounds. A mainly sample-based album, this authentically organic mix is moving and melodic, with a touch of folksy wonder in it and some electro pop thrown in for good measure. As well as remixing tracks for Badly Drawn Boy, the Doves and Aphex Twin, Hebden has also been picked by Radiohead to open up for several of their upcoming tour dates.

NB: Support tonight comes from Icarus, a live set from DJ Gruff Rhys (Super Furry Animals) and Adem accompanied by a live, 20 piece orchestra.

Giveaway: We have three Four Tet frisbees to give away. They'll go to three randomly picked subscribers who can tell us the name of his record label.

Thursday 15 May (Thu 15/05, Fri 16/05 & Sat 17/05 at 7:45pm)

@ Lyric Hammersmith, King St., W6 (020 8741 2311) Tube: Hammersmith

In order to justify disobedience to the word of God or love of good music, anyone could have first said that the Devil has all the good songs! The first dishonorable act of Martyn Jacques, falsetto singer of The Tiger Lillies, was to leave the severed head of a pig, complete with Woodbines up it's snout on the school Chapel altar after a wild Saturday night for his more pious schoolmates to see at service. He moved on to write the music to the darkest of black comedy Shockheaded Peter, which won him one of it's two Olivier awards; and fuelled from living above a brothel in Soho, his songs describe the acts of pimps, prostitutes and drug addicts in glorious detail. So if there's one band billed to play the soundtrack to the turning of spits and licking of flames it's The Tiger Lillies. They are joined on stage by the Kronos Quartet showcasing thirteen new songs inspired by the unpublished writings of Edward Gorey. Join the wicked, evil, perverted and rebellious, in a twisted homage to a genuinely unique artist; and discover what 'The Truth' really has to do with Rock 'n' Roll!

NB: The Lillies and Kronos play three night in a row Thu 15/05, Fri 16/05 & Sat 17/05.

Thursday 15 May (8pm - 2am)

@ The Garage, 20-22 Highbury Corner, N5 (020.7607.1818 ) Tube: Highbury and Islington

British Sea Power are a bracing dose of fresh coastal air in an otherwise stagnant British Indie scene. Not since the heady days of Britpop has the pop heritage of the UK been so well drawn upon and reinterpreted. In a time when the best guitar bands are yanks (The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and BMRC), it's delightful to come across a little bastion of English dandiness complete with naval uniforms and taxidermy on stage. Hailing from Brighton, BSP bring a conceptual performance art edge to their Joy Division inspired art punk sound. There's a little twist of Wire in there too and perhaps just a sprinkling of The Kinks. Signed to The Strokes label Rough Trade, and with an album on the way (02/06) this is likely to be the last chance to catch them in as tiny a venue as The Garage. So grab your sowester and knock back a tot of Grog it's British Sea Power Land Ho'.

Friday 16 May

@ Various cinemas across London

Office work can be so boring. Once you've checked your emails, drunk an assortment of beverages, raided the stationery cupboard and investigated how far down the corridor you can race your colleagues on the wheely office chairs... what else is there to do. Why not take a leaf out of an ex-president's book and dabble in a bit of office naughtiness. Sure such dalliances could bring a few ahem complications and maybe a sexual harassment charge but, a pleasurable fumble by the photocopier, makes it all worth while. Winner of the originality (say no more) award at Sundance last year, Secretary is a story of an S&M relationship between a control freak lawyer and his secretary. It's a witty portrayal of how office hierarchy might manifest itself in sexual games. With it's stylish hyper-realism, director Steven Shainberg treads the fine line between experimentation and titillation, with the film rooted in the fantastic performances of "so hot right now" Maggie Gyllenhaal (sister of Jake) and "not one to turn down an edgy film" James Spader. Visually impressive, and very different, this film is definitely a must see... although possibly without your staunch feminist friends. Now, where's that work experience gone...

Friday 16 May

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly

So this is what it's come to: being bombarded by technology-delivered visual entertainment? Yes, the days when it was about a night in front of the goggle box or trip to the flicks are long-gone. Because nowadays it's everywhere, including pieces of seductively hilarious amateur film like that kid doing his Darth Maul impersonation (and the even funnier remix) popping up on our monitors. It's gone viral. Are we not in the thralls of an ocular overload epidemic, and isn't it time we looked for a remedy?

Er, hello? Hell no! We love it, we need it, and so do you... and you love onedotzero7, and you want to go and see all the lovely short films and music videos and sit in on the talks and see some great new shit and watch dudes VJing to architecture and get a great insight into the extremely cool and ever-morphing forefront of moving image. Some of what's in store over the ten-day festival follows.

Human Nature (Sun 18/05 and Fri 23/05 at 9pm) is Michel Gondry's debut feature. Produced by Spike Jonze and adapted from Charlie Kaufman's script it features Tim Robbins, Patricia Arquette, and Rhys Ifans. 4D Space (Mon 19/05 and Tue 20/05) is a one and a half day international conference on interactive architecture and its influence on the contemporary cultural environment; key note speakers include Ron Arad and a host of other noteworthy participants. Wow + flutter 03 spans animation, motion graphics, and abstract experimentation, including brand new work from D-fuse and others. The Anatomy of a Music Video (Wed 21/05 at 7pm) dissects the music video-making process, from start to MTV-finish. And Full length 26: Z Axis (Sun 18/05 at 7:30pm) finds The Light Surgeons somehow managing to explore themes of architecture and spatial design via the fusion of classic cult cinema with avant-garde electronic soundscapes (!).

NB: Festival goes from Fri 16/05 till Sun 25/05. See the onedotzero7 website for details and the full schedule.

Saturday 17 May (10pm - 6am)

@ The Impact Center, Hoxton St., EC2 (Tube: Old St.)

Is there anyone left in Detroit? Why the Daily Mail is hysterical about Iraqis and Afghans coming to visit, when our clubs and venues seem to have been invaded by uber cool Detroitets, we just dont know? They have become one of three magic words gracing flyers throughout our city; "Detroit", "Hoxton" and "Electro". It's enough to get scores and scores of young men and women giddy, dressed up like a pikey wedding, and squealing their arses off. This time the excitement is well and truly deserved. Wide Productions in association with Perverted Science & Robot Music present WIDE this Saturday. Think 3 rooms full of the best underground DJs/Maestros both sides of the Thames and the Atlantic. The Detroit Grand Pubahs, Rex Kramer (Wide Records), Paul Blackford (Breakin Records), Oli 'double d' Secluna (Wide), Breakin' Bread Crew (www.breakinbread.org/Itch FM) and so so many more. For full listings check out the website, but take it from us, it's rammed with the best in Hip-Hop, Electro, Latin, Afro, Groove, Dancehall, Roots, UK Bass, Ghetto Tech, UK Bass, Jungle... whatever some of those things are! You know if you'll love it!

NB: For tickets and information call 07939.091.493 or email simon@wideadventure.com.

Sunday 18 May (12:10 & 2pm)

@ Curzon Soho, 93-107 Shaftesbury Ave., W1 (020.7439.4805) Tube: Leicester Square/Piccadilly

The films of Pedro Almodovar are candid, explicit, innovative -- he dares to bluntly display that which most filmmakers refrain from, schooling us in certain aspects of the world that are neglected and hidden by the mainstream of society. He has faced charges of misogyny and been revered as the one man capable of portraying women. He has been seen as the most important representative for the gay community on-screen, and he has been named a homophobe. Controversy and heated debate surrounds him and his work -- rendering it all the more valuable. Sunday, his two latest films will be screened in a double-bill. All About My Mother is the film that probably represents the apex of his potential, and Talk to Her was the most critically acclaimed release of last summer. Say what you will about Pedro and his work, but as a filmmaker he has clearly developed over the years. The stunning visuals and music is worth a trip to the big screen alone.

Sunday 18 May (4pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly

STOP. Stop smoking, drinking, driving, taking vitamins, tripping to Asia, eating bread (is everyone allergic to wheat now?), sleeping with strangers and buying R Kelly records. And then, when you're sitting there, nicotine patch glued on, rice cakes in hand with severe sexual tension, you might find yourself compulsively power-walking through the West End, credit card, loan or cash in hand ready to buy some serious stuff. We are addicted to shopping and, worst of all, our government and our ruler's best buddie thinks it's good for us. The Rev Billy, Ange Taggart and friends are bravely combating our problem with subversive performances. They are the art world's version of those girls in the patch ads that beat up the cigarettes, except this social craving has the global side-effects equivalent to that of a 200 a day rollie-smoker, with only one lung. Go and hear their shopping list of interventions, including the immediate return of goods, only to buy and return them again and again, the arranging of bar codes through till to spell out "Inner Despair" on the receipts, and their pro-French cheese buying antics. Let the Rev show us salvation.

Monday 19 May (6:30pm)

@ Architectural Association, 34-36 Bedford Square, WC1 (020.7887.4000 ) Tube: Tottenham Court Rd.

Zaha Hadid's constant presence in the architectural press and her recent spate of international commissions has led to her rise as a celebrity architect. This talk sees her return to the AA, where she was student and lecturer with a review of her most recent works. Apart from seeing work from this leading architect including her almost complete CAC, Cincinnati, USA (opens 31/05), this is an opportunity to experience first-hand one of architecture's true divas.

NB: Although tickets to this event are restricted to members and current students of the AA, you can watch a video relay on either a gigantic screen in the Jury room or on a TV screen in the AA's Bar.

Ends Saturday 17 May (Mon to Fri 10am - 6pm; Sat 12 - 4pm)

@ The Blue Gallery, 15 Great Sutton St., EC1 (020.7490.3833) Tube: Farringdon/Barbican

In this much publicised group show, even heavy-weight names seem to quiver at the prospect of seeking revenge on the Iron Lady. Featuring Turner Prize winners Keith Tyson and Martin Creed, together with a host of other luminaries, it is perhaps inevitable that Thatcher ultimately reveals more of the participants own politics, than it does explore the notion of this much maligned women as an icon. Creed is predictably witty with his typed and signed instruction to the curator "Something on the left, just as you come in, not too high or low." In a similar vein, Bob and Roberta Smith helpfully explains how the "Left Is The New Right." Keith Coventry has always enjoyed degrading Britain's most venerated subjects. In Grand Hotel and Mrs Thatcher and Charles Moore, he also succeeds in emptying out the power of documentary footage at the same time, with his all white and faintly outlined, mock school of london style renditions. In the back room, Mark Wallinger's DVD piece dominates the proceedings, effectively equating Thatcher's formidable oratory technique with her autocratic style of leadership. For Sleep Of Reason, Wallinger has re-edited her '82 post-Falklands speech, freezing her eyes in a series of permanent blinks as she continues obliviously in a prime 52 minute rant.

NB: Show ends Sat 17/05.

Monday 19 May (Daily 10am - 6pm, Fri & Sat until 10pm)

@ Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 (020.7887.8008) Tube: Southwark/Blackfriars

The Tate Modern seems intent on proving that size does matter. After Marsyas, it has moved outside for its summer installation. Standing more than 30 metres tall, Blockhead, by the controversial American artist Paul McCarthy, will be the world's largest ever inflatable sculpture. After the considerable public success of Marsyas (whatever you thought of it as an art work, it was an undeniably impressive feat of construction), perhaps the Tate Modern thought it needed to get a bit more edgy. McCarthy is certainly the man to oblige. Having made a name for himself in the '70s as a confrontational performance artist (shagging jars of mayonnaise; urinating on, and then eating sausages; walking barefoot on broken glass; that type of thing), he has since "mellowed" to produce a range of sculptures and installations that confront moral taboos head on. Blockhead is loosely based on an old McCarthy favourite, Pinocchio (he's got a thing about Disney). As with all McCarthy's work, the familiar and comforting is subverted into the disturbing and grotesque. Blockhead will be a matt black, cartoon-like figure, with cubic head and a long extended nose (no, it's not particularly subtle). He'll also have a half-sized friend, Daddies Bighead, based on another McCarthy favourite, the ketchup bottle. From an opening in Blockhead's belly visitors will be able to purchase specially made sweets -- nine, hard inches of black rock. Middle England, enjoy.

NB: McCarthy will be on hand for a talk to discuss Blockhead, Daddies Bighead, and his other work at Tate Modern on Thu 22/05 at 5pm. Blockhead is on view until 26/10.

Tuesday 20 May (6:30pm)

@ Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 (020.7887.8008) Tube: Southwark/Blackfriars

PSSST hey KultureFlasher, secret: Painting is still dead. That's why it's the new black. Trouble is, nobody knows exactly what is painting anymore, just as drawing is currently intepretated at its zaniest! What's to know about this oldest of art forms: tie hair to stick, use it to drag bit of mud over bit of cloth. Simple really. Trouble is, some seem to think that there has to be progress, a gradual unfolding of some kind of history, some rational unfolding across time. Rock 'n' Roll doesn't seem to have these problems, example: The White Stripes! Not only is painting taking steps outside it's traditional borders, but curators have decided to approach it differently. To help us out, the Tate has kindly organised a few curators to speak about putting together painting shows.

NB: Participants will be Parkett Editor Bice Curiger with Alison Gingeras, curator of Cher Peintre (2002) at the Pompidou in Paris, Douglas Fogle, curator of Painting at the Edge of the World (2001) at Walker Art Center in Minneapolis and artist Richard Wright. For tickets call 020.7887.8888 or email ticketing@tate.org.uk. This event will be webcast.

Ends Saturday 31 May (Mon to Fri 10am - 6pm; Sat 11am - 1pm)

@ Bernard Jacobson Gallery

If Woody Allen had grit, he'd be Frank Stella. It is with this matterofact statement, "what you see is what you see", that Stella epitomised an entire movement, note that not many artists can lay claim to that. It's a simple plan, edge out space with design hence beating Matisse at his own game. With that, a series of permutations unfolded: found colour, running stripes, protractors. It all boils down to matters of fact, Minimalism is after all, a release from Abstract Expressionism's romanticism and a move towards a youthful scienticity. This was the first generation of college-educated smart-asses! Having hit the ground running in '59 with his black stripe paintings at the tender age of 23, Stella's work has moved from paintings, to painted reliefs -- inspired by Carravaggio, they're still paintings he says -- sculpture, architecture, and now wall reliefs. This show, inspired by the caves of Lascaux, demonstrates the septuagenarian's ease at handling shapes in space -- a sorta reversal from the flattening out of his early work, but space is now built forwards -- and his use of the material's natural colour is strong in comparison to his usual choice of garish inyourface colour. A nod to Caro perhaps, but they've certainly grown from the language of Modernity in which he began his career.