Tuesday 9 September (6 - 8pm)

@ White Cube, 48 Hoxton Square, N1 (020.7930.5373) Tube: Old St.

It comes as no surprise that after his long existentialist meditations on death that Damien Hirst would arrive at religion. Rather than the celebratory and festive, or even mournful, in the typical Hirst anaesthetised aesthetic, the apostles and Christ are served up via cabinets and medical tools. Cows -- in fact bulls too -- still appear frozen in formaldehyde, but this time each "stands in" for a disciple. Strangely intersecting the worlds of art and science, Hirst's meditation is set less around religion and more about the tales of Christianity. Hint: Beef up on your martyrdoms before arriving... In the international scene, no name has brought more recognition to Britart and Cool Britannia than Hirst's, so love it or hate it, the shark, the calf (on view) et al, have left their scars or cuts upon contemporary art. Now with Romance in the Age of Uncertainty, his first full London show since 1995, expect some controversy... (Show ends 19/10.)

NB: Private view is on Tue 09/09 from 6 - 8pm. Charity, a large sculpture of a '50s charity donation box is to be seen in Hoxton Square. In the offices upstairs are the Cancer Chronicles, more meditations on death, but this time with flies! These works are only available for viewing upon request.

Wednesday 10 September (6 - 8pm)

@ Gagosian, 8 Heddon St., W1 (020.7292.8222) Tube: Piccadilly Circus

Joseph Beuys (1921-1986) was both a myth-maker and storyteller, who believed in the artist-as-Shaman, and as social politician; this is what he called his "extended concept of art" or "social sculpture". Beuys' work can partly be understood through the tale of his own rescue as a crashed WWII pilot in the Crimea by nomadic Tartars; near death and protected by fat and felt, he was nursed back to life. Whether true or false, wax, copper and felt form an integral aspect of Beuys' visual language. From the 7000 Oaks in Manhattan and Kassel (Documenta 7), to running in elections for the Green Party, giving lectures (Documenta 5), and explaining pictures to a dead hare (really), Beuys was nothing but a sheer revolutionary. Highlights from Dr. Reiner Speck's collection currently touring Gagosian's galleries is considered important given that Dr. Speck collected key works from Beuys' entire oeuvre. A sampling perhaps, but key nonetheless...

NB: Private view on Wed 10/09 from 6 to 8pm. Show ends 15/11.

Giveaway: We have two copies of the show's catalogue to give away. They'll go to two randomly picked subscribers who can name two of his famous students.

Wednesday 10 September (7pm)

@ Westbourne Studios, 242 Acklam Rd., W10 (020.7575.3000) Tube: Westbourne Park

Architect Simon de Grey, one of the four designers-in-chief at Foster & Partners, discusses architecture's "Big Question" with art critic Richard Cork (The Times) as part of the Art Happens series of events. Ever since architects discarded their drawing boards and entered the digital domain a few years back, big names such as Libeskind, Gehry and Hadid have made headlines by drawing an ever-finer line between architecture, metaphor and sculpture. It could be said that de Grey is more associated with the obsessive detailing of Foster's hi-tech than with the abstract forms of the Bilbao Guggenheim. But that's a simplistic view of the practice's work which, among other collaborations, has worked with sculptor Anthony Caro -- on the famous/infamous Millennium Bridge, and regularly produces buildings which are more than just form, function or fun for structural engineers. Fittingly, Nick Kirkham, who designed the Westbourne Studios venue with brother Simon, has a BA in fine art sculpture. Neither has any formal architectural training, but they've created the only building in London cunning enough to make the concrete of the Westway look gorgeous, by using the underside of the A40(M) as a winglike sculptural roof for the interior courtyard cafe. Impressive effect, but is it art?

Wednesday 10 September (7:30pm - 12am)

@ The Lifthouse, 85 Charterhouse St., EC1 (020.7251.8787) Tube: Farringdon/Barbican

Watch yourselves, given the global threats -- both from cultural imperialism and terror -- increasingly we seem to need global mediators like the UN peacekeepers. Now Kulturally, our own local Sprawl is once again importing peacekeepers, this time from French label BiP_HOp. Commandeering is Philippe Petit aka DJ ip@bip-hop.com (label boss), and in support peacekeepers from Canada, Tomas Jirku (known for his online "variants" project) and the UK -- Dave Toop and si-{cut}.db (Sprawl co-founder). Now we're ready to resist inappropriate cultural encourchment...

Wednesday 10 September (8pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly Circus

This is a band based on a wealth of experience drawn from the perpetually bustling Glasgow music scene. Experience personified by front-man Alex Kapranos, who has contributed much to that scene over recent years. Together, the band leave their "Chateau" to tour the land and introduce folk to their energetic performance of tight, punk-fop tunes, delivering a noticeably youthful and refreshing sound. Generating a live buzz not yet captured faithfully on record, they are currently creating a significant and deserved ripple in the music press. There's a sense of inviolability in this band, not only in the sense that without Franz Ferdinand we run the risk of plunging the world into global conflict ("again"), but they also prove that pretension, when mixed with equal parts of exceedingly dry wit, can be a superbly effective song-writing tool! Highly recommended.

Wednesday 10 September (9pm)

@ Prince Charles Cinema, 7 Leicester Place, WC2 (090.1272.7007) Tube: Leicester Sq.

Question: What do All the Real Girls and Respiro have in common? Answer: To watch them is to participate in a form of lifestyle tourism. In ATRG, harried urbanites may find themselves gazing longingly at the leafy autumnal placidity of life in small-town America. The boys fix old cars or work in the mill, they drink beer, fuck all the girls, and they're young and stupid, because there's no reason not to be. That is, until Tip's sister Noel appears; Paul falls in love with her, and we see how his life till now hasn't equipped him for this...

NB: Wed night's showing (10/09) is sadly the last one in London. David Gordon Green, the film's author-director, who won plenty of praise for George Washington last year, is currently working on a film adaptation of the Rabelaisian comic novel A Confederacy of Dunces with Steven Soderbergh, who is co-writing and executive-producing it. We can't see that he'll be able to bring his trademark downbeat hyper-real directorial style to its protagonist, the 'mammoth, misfit, medievalist', all-belching Ignatius J. Reilly...

Thursday 11 September (7pm)

@ National Portrait Gallery, St. Martin's Place, WC2 (020.7306.0055) Tube: Leicester Sq./Charing Cross

Not being accepted by the artworld can give an artist a certain freedom... if brave enough: "I was already in a state of mind where nothing mattered; no one was going to take it seriously." While being a figurative painter during the '90s, a period that thought painting was not progressive enough, John Currin remained deliberately reactionary. Not only refusing to change his medium, but testing subscribed notions of "political correctness", leading to a celebratory review from porno mag, Juggs and attack from the establishment (The Village Voice). But, not surprisingly, this only propelled his career. Taking stereotypical male fantasies and juxtaposing them with influences from the Renaissance and Rococo movement to vintage pin-ups and contemporary magazines, Currin creates distorted imagery, which though humorous (in a naughty school-kid kind of way) makes the work uncomfortably sinister. His knowledge of art history is so immediate that the characters of the past are almost living through his work, and with the poster industry in our city shops it's easy to see the vulgar in the sometimes saccharine scenarios of the Old Masters, which Currin can't help but present, forcing us to consider taste and expectation in both society and art, past and present.

NB: A retrospective of John Currin's work is taking place at the Serpentine Gallery until 2/11, while Sadie Coles HQ will be showing new work until 4/10.

Friday 12 September

@ Various cinemas aross London

Very rarely does an animated feature grip the attention of the general population rather than just children or hardcore animation buffs. Spirited Away has managed to do so. This Japanese feature (from the maker of Princess Mononoke) has gone around the world creating a flurry of rave reviews and picking up countless awards from both film and animation festivals alike -- including Best Animated Feature at the Oscars earlier this year. The words of praise incorporate every aspect of the film, and the fact that it is a cartoon seems often forgotten. If you just see one animated feature this year -- or ever again -- this should probably be it.

Friday 12 September (Check ICA site for times)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly Circus

Iranian films made a triumphant march onto the European market in the early '90s, and it seems they are not planning to go away. Crimson Gold sees the acclaimed Jafar Panahi (who also brought us The Circle) hook up again with even more acclaimed director and screenwriter Abbas Kiarostami. Crimson Gold is easily recognisable as the work of Panahi -- and as soon as you get past the protagonists' resemblance to Jay and Silent Bob, you're in for a few treats. The work as a whole struggles with a sense of dislocation and there is a lack of cohesion, but the paramount scenes are remarkable in their own right, and therefore well worth the watch. The s-l-o-w pace is a refreshing change from the bombardment of Hollywood sequels.

NB: Crimson Gold is being screened at the ICA till Tue 31/10.

Friday 12 September (7pm)

@ 291 Gallery, 291 Hackney Rd., E2 (020.7613.5676) Tube: Liverpool St./Old St./Bethnal Green

It goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway, that some people hate being watched (shoplifters), some love it (Drag Queens), and others adore watching (those IT people at work who check your emails for lewd, or unprofessional content). Surveillance can turn you on, off, or even turn you in, but we all want it when it suits us. Nicky Robertson-Peek, curator of Are You Looking At Me?, researches the effects of the modern "gaze" in our contemporary urban world by gathering artists and musicians who share this common theme. From the tragic iconic images of Jamie Bulger and Rodney King to Big Brother, docusoaps and much more clever stuff, dozens of artists -- including Questside Crew, Giovanni Calemma, Scanner and Suzie Sparkle (delta 9/ravetap) -- will be using the latest technology, video art, DJs, performance, photography... to explore all this, and watch, spy, record and listen to you.

Saturday 13 September (10pm - 4am)

@ Egg, 200 York Way, N7 (020.7609.8364) Tube: King's Cross

Egg and The Xosa Group launch Global Soul, which may well become a regular on your calendar. The line-up looks like it could be setting new high standards for others to play catch-up on. Philly scenester master DJ and producer Vikter Duplaix will be giving you slices of his own Neo Soul style. Expect also an appearance from Jay Hannan, founder and resident for Underdog at the Notting Hill Arts Club, providing deep cutting-edge House and TV, with glimpses of their new album Upward. It promises to be a night oozing late-summer sultry House, R'n'B and Hip-Hop.

Sunday 14 September (2pm - 8pm)

@ A boat on the Thames

Right folks, summer's almost over and it's time to push that boat out one last time! Promising no windmills nor cigars, this nautical dance party is still full of surprises... With Jimmy K-Tel and Matt Brown as captains -- fresh from the Notting Hill Carnival -- and a crew that's still to be announced, the banditry could be of any order, but it's still booty shakin' banditry nonetheless. Having spent the last ten years like pirates creating Sancho Panza events in all locations, the summer boat party will be their last outing this year. But this KF fave promises to be no Love Boat. Hey, nobody expected Captain Stubing to shake his ass!

NB: This gig will most likely sell out, so check the Sancho Panza site for full details. Tickets can be purchased from Vinyl Addiction (020.7482.1230) and Uptown Records (020.7434.3639). For more information email info@sanchopanza.org.

Sunday 14 September (7:30pm - 12am)

@ Cargo, Kingsland Viaduct, 83 Rivington St., EC2 (020.7739.3440) Tube: Old St./Liverpool St.

They've been labelled the "Motorhead of Funk" by funk 45 bible Grand Slam magazine -- a pretty good accolade for a fusion three-piece from Bournemouth. The trio consists of brothers Dan Baker (guitars and keyboards) and Richard Baker (drums and samples) plus Chris Pedley on bass, and they make a big noise as they cook up a tasty instrumental acid blues'n'funk stew. The biggest surprise about their new album, Ten Paces, on the Arse Records imprint is that it wasn't recorded in New Orleans in the '70s. In DJ support are Keb Darge and Dom Servini. Darge is Mister Rare Funk, with a collection of northern soul and deep funk 45s that burn up dancefloors up and down the country, entertaining punters and spotters alike. Servini is also a renowned rare funk cheerleader, thanks to his excellent Mouse Organ and Wah Wah club nights.

Sunday 14 September (8pm - 12am )

@ Electric Ballroom, 184 Camden High St., NW1 (020.7485.9006) Tube: Camden Town

For those about to rock we salute you! If you've ever windmilled in front of your bedroom mirror like Pete Townshend or played your guitar with your teeth Hendrix-style, then you'll appreciate the dedication of tonight's contestants. After 18 regional finals, each competitor -- including The Metal Avenger, the hotly-tipped Triple Slash and last year's runner-up Nottingham's Jaimz Riot -- gets three minutes to strut their stuff, being judged on technical ability, audience reaction and their stage appearance. DJs include Disastronaut, Jo Perfect & The Dirty Rocker, Queens of Noize, Francois, Chips with Everything (Manchester) and Mat Consume (Trash Records). And apparently reigning UK champion Satan Whoppercock will be in attendance -- even though he's dead. Piss, the world's first air guitar band, will provide "live" music entertainment. Now, plectrums at the ready.

Monday 15 September (8pm)

@ ICA, The Mall, SW1 (020.7930.3647) Tube: Charing Cross/Piccadilly Circus

The War Is Dead Long Live The War is the latest offering from Welsh playwright Patrick Jones. Jones's first play, Everything Must Go, was an overriding success, due in no small part to his fraternal bond with Nicky Wire from the Manic Street Preachers and his continued collaboration with the band through their song lyrics. Cynicism aside however, anyone who has even paid the slightest attention to the Manics' lyrics will testify that there's some powerful stuff going on. Jones's new piece is a poignant and contemporary stride down that same road of political lambast and bitter nostalgia. Marrying soundbytes from George Bush with extracts from Wilfred Owen, two characters grapple with the implications of wars old and new. James Dean Bradfield from the Manics has also penned an original soundtrack: a better excuse to lure the die-hard fans of old and lager lads of the new flesh into the theatre we cannot conceive of. There's also a 'special guest contribution' every evening.

NB: Run ends Sat 20/09.

Ends Friday 12 September (Daily 7:30pm; Mat Wed 2pm & Sat 2:30pm)

@ Young Vic Theatre, 66 The Cut, SE1 (020.7928.6363) Tube: Waterloo

The consensus of the theatre-knowledgeable about Le Costume, Peter Brook's staging of the South African writer Can Themba's short story The Suit, appears to be that his methods -- realism blended with mime, choreographed movement, narration and clowning -- are nothing that a score of young directors at the Edinburgh Festival haven't also been using. A victim of his own success? Rather, a slew of theatre practitioners and trainers read and took to heart the exhortations in his core work on the making of theatre, The Empty Space (1968). So to watch this play might also be to consider innovation become commonplace... Set in Johannesburg, the play itself is about a woman who is discovered by her husband in bed with her lover. As punishment she is forced to treat the suit the lover has left behind as an honoured guest, setting a place for it at the table and so on until the humiliation is too much for her...

NB: On Fri 19/10 at 6:30pm, following the book launch of The Open Circle, authors Jean-Guy Lecat and Andrew Todd will be alongside Brook for a discussion chaired by David Lan, Artistic Director of the Young Vic. (For tickets call the box office on 020.7928. 6363.).

Giveaway: We have two copies of The Open Circle to give away. They'll go to two randomly picked subscribers who can tell us the name of the famous film that Brook directed (hint: it was set on a deserted island).

Wednesday 17 September (7:30pm)

@ Electric Ballroom, 184 Camden High St., NW1 (020.7485.9006) Tube: Camden Town

Zowp boing guitarzzzzz and the swelling sound of ENORMOUS strings. There are those who've accused Spiritualized of going too far into space warp uber produced nonsense-core. So the man who brought us the psychedelic blues noise of Spacemen 3, is back and this time he's going back to basics. The new album Amazing Grace trades on the hypnotic minimalism that made us love Jason Pierce's music in the first place and took just three weeks to complete. The show promises to trade on the same stripped down sound of the LP. Ladies and Gentlemen we're back down to earth. A bit.

NB: Spiritualized are playing two gigs at the Electric Ballroom but the first night (Tue 16/09) is sold out so purchase your tickets fast since there are not many left for night two (Wed 17/09).

Thursday 18 September (7pm)

@ Congress Centre, 28 Great Russell St., WC1 (020.7440.1553) Tube: Tottenham Court Rd.

Foyles once again steps up to the literary oche with one of the sharpest literary darts in modern letters; a man whose use of metaphor clearly shames this KF reviewer. JG Ballard is to literature what Eric Bristow is to darts: massive, talented and likes a drink (probably). But enough of this silly and irrelevant darts stuff. Ballard writes fine books and his last one, Super Cannes, was one of the first decent books of the 21st century. In it, he explored the seedy underbelly of a capitalist culture desperate for a bigger and bigger rush through the device of a crazed psychotherapist ("psycho the rapist" geddit?). In Millennium People, Ballard takes his dystopian vision to its logical conclusion -- a crazed doctor tries to destroy capitalist culture and replace it with something nicer. Don't expect to find Ballard reading at the new Selfridges.

NB: To purchase tickets call 020.7440.3227 or email events@foyles.co.uk.

Ends Saturday 4 October (Daily 7:30pm; Sat & Sun Mat 3pm )

@ Sadler's Wells, Rosebery Avenue (020 7863 8015) Tube: Angel

If you think going to the ballet is for mincers and girls, think again. This is dance for fans of Kung Fu. The Shaolin Monks performing in this explosive show are genuine ordained soldier monks, authorised by the abbot of the Shaolin Temple, so they're not pretending. The show tells the story of Shaolin history and how they have triumphed over adversity with a winning combo of Buddhist study and ass-kicking fighting skills. The show has been a massive hit worldwide and is well worth a watch for both dance and martial arts fans alike. If the C of E could pull this off instead of the usual nativity plays and harvest festivals, church attendance would rocket.

NB: Run ends on 04/10.

Ends Sunday 12 October (Wed to Sun 1pm - 6pm)

@ Chisenhale, 64 Chisenhale Rd., E3 (020.8981.4518) Tube: Bethnal Green

In his most significant solo show to date, British artist Faisal Abdu' Allah has collaborated with trendy art architect David Adjaye to create The Garden of Eden, an installation that explores ideas of privilege, elitism and voyeurism. The audience is split on entry -- on genetic grounds -- with some channelled straight ahead, others to the right, and both groups offered a starkly different experience within the same work. The element of surprise is powerful here, so we won't give too much away, only to say that to fully understand the piece you have to break the rules and see both sections.

NB: Show ends on 12/10 but will tour to the Aspex Gallery in Portsmouth from 8/11 to 20/12. David Adjaye's work can next be seen at the much-anticipated Frieze Art Fair (17/10 to 20/10), where he is creating the Fair's structure in Regent's Park.